Massive Effects of the Heart
by kacoarfashep
Summary: Takes place after the events of Horizon, Josy Shepard and Kaidan are trying to deal with their actions with a little help from Councilor Anderson. Two-part story that will lead to another larger story. Rated M for language. I OWN NOTHING ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO BIOWARE! I REPEAT I OWN NOTHING!


Josy Shepard was pissed.

Not only did the only man she ever loved yell at her and call her a traitor, but the whole attack on Horizon was a setup, caused by the Illusive Man himself. The fucking bastard used the person she cared about as bait, and had hundreds of colonists abducted, all for god damn information, that they weren't even able to retrieve.

She needed a drink, a strong one, but before that, she had business with a certain Citadel Councilor.

"Joker!" she snapped into the comm.

"Yes Commander?" he answered warily, she knew she was pissed, but she didn't need to get snippy with her crew, especially Joker.

"Sorry Joker, didn't mean to scare you," she apologized, rubbing her temples in frustration.

"Ehh you didn't scare me, just made me jump, anyway, you need something Commander?" he asked sounding less scared and more like his usual smart-ass self.

"Yeah, get us to the Citadel, ASAP," she ordered, "please," she added, trying to make up for the way she acted towards her best friend earlier.

"Yes ma'am," she could hear the smirk in his voice. She rolled her eyes and shook her head getting ready to head up to go to her cabin she heard her name called.

"Commander Shepard!" she groaned and turned to look at the peppy Yeoman.

"Yes, Kelly, do you need something?" she asked, trying not to let her tone sound angry or annoyed, even though she wanted to punch Kelly in the face.

Kelly must've sensed her annoyance, "Um, it's not important, it can wait until later," Josy nodded and turned toward the elevator.

* * *

Kaidan felt the ringing pain of the migraine fill his head. He closed his eyes tight and tried to think about anything but what happened between him and her. The woman who he thought about every day, the woman who haunted his dreams, who's touch he longed for, was alive, and hated him. He yelled at her, called her a traitor, and hated himself for it, but there was that one part of him that felt justified about what he did, she was with Cerberus, she faked her death, put the people who loved her through hell, and-

What if she had died?

What if she really had been telling him the truth? That Cerberus had brought her back from the dead? That, that they rebuilt her? No, he had to stop thinking about her, he had to report to Anderson and Hackett about what happened on Horizon with a clear mind. He took a deep breath and walked into the Councilor's office.

"Commander Alenko! Good to see you're alright," Admiral Hackett

"Good to see you, Admiral Hackett, Councilor Anderson," Kaidan nodded in his old captain's direction. Anderson returned the gesture, and Kaidan could tell there was something going on.

"Before we get to your mission's recap, we have received some information on Commander Shepard," Hackett said slowly. Kaidan's heart started to beat faster.

"What kind of information?" Kaidan asked tentatively, he didn't like Hackett's tone, and Anderson looked grim.

"Information on her death," Anderson answered bluntly.

Kaidan felt as if the wind was just knocked out of him. He threw himself down in one of the chairs behind him. So she had actually died, the woman he loved had actually died. So-

"So she was actually telling the truth?" he hadn't realized he had said something out loud until Hackett had answered him.

"What do you mean?" Hackett asked.

"She was there, on Horizon I mean, and she had said that Cerberus had rebuilt her to fight the Collectors and investigate the missing colonies, I-I didn't believe her," he answered, hoping neither men would ask him what else had happened, about the way he reacted to her working for Cerberus.

"Well these files on the Lazarus Project prove that she did in fact die," Anderson said closing his eyes. The man looked sick to his stomach.

"Councilor, are you alright? You don't look like you feel well sir," Kaidan asked warily, the man looked liked he was about to puke.

Anderson shook his head slowly, his eyes still closed, "Her death, it looked extremely painful, she suffocated because her suit's O2 tube was damaged. The pictures are quite," the man paused, taking a deep breath, "gruesome."

Kaidan took a deep breath, he knew what he had to do, "I'd like to see the files, sir" he looked at the Councilor. Anderson looked shocked.

"Are you sure Kaidan? They aren't very pretty, and I only got a few pages in," the councilor asked.

"I am sir,"

Anderson nodded and waved him over.

**Few hours later***

Anderson took a deep breath. He and Kaidan had finished looking at the Lazarus Project files. Admiral Hackett had left about an hour ago, the files were just to much for the man, and Anderson envied him that he could leave. He turned his head to look at Alenko, and the man looked like a mess. He took the pictures and the videos they saw the hardest. Anderson knew there was something going on between Alenko and Shepard, but the look of horror that passed on Alenko's face, made Anderson think about how close they really were, and think about if something major had happen between them.

Anderson heard his door open, and he looked up to see the face of Josy Shepard. She wore a N7 tank top and jeans, her brown hair was in a ponytail, and she looked pissed. He stood to greet her, "Shepard, it's-"

He never saw the slap coming.

* * *

Kaidan heard the sound of a door opening. He turned around to see Josy Shepard enter the office, her features angry, and tears in her eyes.

Kaidan threw his back against the nearest wall. He really didn't heart-wrenching reunion in a 24-hour period, especially after what the Lazarus files had shown him, and the way she looked right now.

Then he heard the sound of someone's hand coming in contact with someone's cheek.

Then the yelling started.

* * *

Josy didn't mean to slap Anderson.

Anderson was like a father to her, he was the one who brought her to the Alliance dammit! He taught her everything she knew, he took care of her, he even stood up for her when she had died! But he put the man she cared about so much in danger; he lied to her, and above all else, refused to trust her.

Right after the events of Horizon, she was emotional, upset, hurt, and as always, disappointed. She chose to talk to Anderson, because she believed she had her emotions in check and under control.

Boy was she wrong.

When she got to his office, anger had begun to bubble in her chest. And, before she could take it back, she slapped him right across the face, and to top it all off, she yelled at him.

"**HOW** dare you!" he looked shocked and confused, but she ignored it. "You put a good soldier, and a good man in danger! And not just any man, but the man I'm closest to, and the man I trust the most, the only man **I've ever truly loved**, and now, he **hates** me! How could you, just stand here and, and **lie **to me like that? **I trusted you!" **her throat felt sore from the yelling and her vision was clouded with unshed tears.

"Shepard, I-" he started, but she held her hand out.

"Maybe Udina was the better candidate for the councilor's position. Politics have changed you Anderson, and not for the better. I should have seen that coming, everyone knows that politicians are liars, and most of the time are never honest, but I thought you would be different," she let out a small pitiful laugh, "but I guess I was wrong, but it doesn't matter, because the past is the past, and no matter how hard we try, we can't change it," and with that, she turned around and walked out of his office. When she heard the door close she leaned against it.

And that's when the tears came.

* * *

Kaidan was shocked. Truly shocked.

Not only did Shepard **slap **a member of the Council, but she had also displayed emotion, anger, hurt, and disappointment. Kaidan had seen Josy angry before, he had even heard her yell at someone, but never like this, never with tears in her eyes, hurt and disappointment painted across her face.

Commander Josy Shea Shepard, Survivor of Akuze, Savior of the Citadel, had cried. The tears had never actually slipped out of her eyes, but when he had peeked out of his hiding place to see what was going on, he saw them glistening in her eyes.

Retreating from his hiding place, Kaidan wearily approached Anderson.

"Sir? Are you-?" Kaidan began, but Anderson interrupted him.

"She's right you know," he answered flatly. The man's normal booming, and intimidating voice was emotionless and cold, and it was chilling to listen to.

"Sir?"

"Josy. She was right," Kaidan felt a surge of shock run through him. Never before had he heard Anderson call Shepard by her first name. The only other person he knew who called her Josy, was himself.

"About what sir?" The way Anderson reacted to his question was the most shocking event that had happened yet. The man collapsed into a chair, and cried.

"Everything Kaidan! She was right about putting you in danger, about this position being better for Udina, about me not trusting her! This is Josy Shepard we're talking about here dammit!"

"Sir…"

"Kaidan," Anderson looked up at him, the tears gone, his face determined, and his lip in a straight line, "go after her. You two obviously need each other, and you need to fight to be together. If she meant what she said about being in love with you, then go after her. Now."

Kaidan felt as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. All of the air rushed out of him, _go after her? _She probably doesn't want to see him ever again, after Horizon, and most definitely after what just happened here, but, but what if Anderson was right? That they needed each other? He looked at Anderson, and nodded.

He needed Josy, and she needed him.


End file.
